i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
