I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
