..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize
