You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
