I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
