the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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