Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
