Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
