So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
