But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
