i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
My life is pants optional.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
