I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
