Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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