I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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