what day is it and did you see me today?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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