The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
