What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
