I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
