So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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