You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
