Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
