Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize
