Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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