I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
