So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
