Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
