I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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