I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
