Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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