Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
