from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
