Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
