so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
