When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
