apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
