nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
