Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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