I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
