I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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