And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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