He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
The Olympian is in my bed
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
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