Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
