well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize