i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I am never drinking with the goths again.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
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