a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
