It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
