we're chasing vodka with high fives
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
