please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
