Nicole vs. Life
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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