dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
