I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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