I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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